Ginge's Anti-Power Rankings: Week 1

by Zach Woosley on Aug 12, 2010 6:58 PM CDT

Power rankings are a part of sports journalism and blogging, thus we must accept their presence. What we don't have to do is like them or agree with them. Any power ranking, no matter how well conceived, researched and executed is still nothing more than the arbritary opinon of the writer(s) of said rankings. There is nothing wrong with that of course, but they should be taken with a grain of salt, preferably kosher salt (It works for Alton Brown, so it works for me).

So that means that while I'd never ridicule anyone's power ranking since we are all entitled to an opinion, I can attempt to mock the fundamental idea of power rankings by creating this new weekly feature here on Dynamo Theory called Ginge's Anti-Power Rankings.

Obviously you are wondering just what "Anti-Power Rankings" are. Well you've come to the right place for an explanation and fortunately for you, I have a simple answer.

Each week I will pick the top five most amusing, ridiciulous, absurd, things from MLS and the world of soccer in general and rank them in a scientifcally approved process known as picking a number out of hat. See, isn't that easy?

If you have further questions just let me know...now, on to the Anti-Rankings!

#5 - David Beckham: After busting his arse for over a year to be ready for the 2010 England World Cup squad, Golden Balls' dream was thwarted by Achilles and his tendon. Now I'm no fan of Beckham, but at some level I did feel bad for a man that simply wanted to represent his country one final time. Now as Beckham appears ready to returnn for the LA Galaxy, he's gotten more bad news. It seems Don Fabio thinks his international career is over and if I learned anything from watching The Godfather, it's that the Don's word is law...or something like that. Beckham came out and said he'll never quit on England but honestly David, give it up man. Finish out your days in Southern California and then do everyone a favor by buying in to a MLS team. Why? Because only Beckham can do board meetings in the morning and underwear ad shoots in the afternoon...just what soccer needs to really be accepted by America.

#4 - Manchester City: It's been another busy week for everyone's favorite oil-soaked football club. Despite the fact their roster is overloaded, they are still signing players and throwing money around like a rapper at a strip club. Not only are they helping to completely throw the entire football transfer market out of whack, they have this delusion that they will actually be able to make the players work together and win something. To put it simply, they are behaving like a 17-year old spoiled little princess who just got dropped off at the mall with daddy's credit card.

#3 - Steve Coppell: Two matches in to the season at Bristol City and Steve proved what we already knew about him...he's a quitter. Just ask fans of the previously mentioned Manchester City.

#2 - Martin O'Neill or Randy Lerner: I don't think we can honestly say which of these guys belongs on this list. It seems their is plenty of blame to go around over the vertically challenged manager's departure from Aston Villa this week, but at least the players appear to be happy (<-- sarcasm?). For more inspired and intelligent opinions on this, visit my friends at 7500 to Holte.

#1 - Don Garber: I don't know what he's done this week, but I'm sure he's done something I don't agree with. Bad Don.

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#4 – Manchester City: It’s been another busy week for everyone’s favorite oil-soaked football club. Despite the fact their roster is overloaded, they are still signing players and throwing money around like a rapper at a strip club. Not only are they helping to completely throw the entire football transfer market out of whack, they have this delusion that they will actually be able to make the players work together and win something. To put it simply, they are behaving like a 17-year old spoiled little princess who just got dropped off at the mall with daddy’s credit card.

I think they think they’re going to be the EPL’s Miami Heat, but are probably going to end up more like the Washington Redskins.

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by UZ on Aug 13, 2010 12:55 PM CDT reply actions