Mar 11, 2012; Carson, CA, USA; Houston Dynamo defenseman Andre Hainault (31) passes the ball during the game against the Chivas USA during the second half at the Home Depot Center. The Houston Dynamo defeat Chivas USA 1-0. Mandatory Credit: Kelvin Kuo-US PRESSWIRE
So we've enjoyed the first week of MLS regular season football. There were some surprises -- oh who am I kidding? To be honest, this is pretty much exactly how I expected it to go. I could've posted this last week and the rankings wouldn't change one bit. And yes, I'm totally serious. Okay, maybe not. Trying to pick rankings for soccer in MLS is kinda like playing Whose Line Is It Anyway? Everything is made up and the points don't matter.
That brings me to the rankings, or well, does it? See the curveball I just threw you? You missed it. You whiffed. Like the Gingered Angel of Doom, I absolutely hate traditional power rankings. They're just opinions, and usually change so frequently they might as well be the BCS ranking system -- completely worthless. I'm on a roll today.
Follow with me after the jump as I try my hand at the second installment (totally revamped and totally not the same) of Fusion does the Power Ranks - Regular Season Week One.What can I possibly do to spice these things up? The videos were nice, but well, there was no ranking them, no real rhyme or reason. What could I throw out there that hasn't been beaten into the ground like a dead horse? I have an idea, so let me know what you think in the comments.
I, the lowly Fusion of Dynamo Theory, will on a weekly basis post a top ten of Major League Soccer (five from each league). This is based purely on my own opinions, which is to say they are in this way actual Power Rankings. The top ten will be topped with a Fusion Twist, kinda like the best mixed drink you've ever had -- and no, that's no metro in any way! The top ten will be accompanied by a chosen song which I think best illustrates (either via lyrics or just song title) the shape and form of the particular team. How's that for different? Yea I know I rock -- literally. Haha.
Enough bantering, here are the Power Rankings and I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed putting them together. This is the type of thing I'll probably do on a weekly basis if people like them this way. Granted, I could put them up and you wouldn't have much choice, but I like to have a captive audience. I think we all do. Enjoy!
5) LA Galaxy -- They were proven to not be as good as they think they are. I know, it's a shocker to all of us. The hype is ridiculous, and while they have flairs of being great they aren't consistent. So, I've chosen:
4) Seattle Sounders -- They haven't played a game as of yet, and thus are hard to dictate their position accordingly. However, they have the makings and shapings of an excellent team. Even still, they are a hated breed around here, and thus the chosen song for them is:
3) Colorado Rapids -- These guys look pretty good on paper actually. They've quietly built a solid franchise year after year, and that is impressive in MLS with the rules being the way they are setup. What I wouldn't give for the right side of their midfield. It's a thing of beauty. Thusly, as chosen by me, their song:
2) Portland Timbers -- With a rout of the Phunions, they took hold of second place on my rankings and look to have a desire to stay there for a while. Alhassan is the real deal, folks. It's not a surprise they'd be this good. After all, they have John Spencer coaching them. And of course we all know Spencer is a product of the Houston Dynamo system. If there's one team in the Western Conference I have no qualms rooting for, it's these guys. And as a special video entry -- goosebumps, this:
1) Real Salt Lake -- This is a team continuously on the rise. They proved last year in Cup Competitions they are a force to be reckoned with now and into the future. They return a lot of depth, and bring in youth possessing the capability to become superstars. The football this team plays is reminiscent of some of the best footy in the world. For them, I offer up this little diddy:
5) New York Red Bulls -- It's no coincidence the two teams who have been known for free-spending to land certain DP's find themselves in identical positions in the rankings. Sure, they can improve, and have the talent on the roster to do so, but will they? I doubt it, but I still think they are better than some of the other Eastern Conference teams who didn't make the cut. My tune for these guys is:
4) Chicago Fire -- Just like the Sounders, the Fire have yet to play a game in the regular season. Even still, I like the look of the Fire. They have pieces which if they work together (hey, they have far and away a higher probability than the above team) could equate to big things this season. Time will tell, though. Which leads me to their song:
3) DC United -- I am a huge fan of Bill Hamid. I am also still a huge DeRo fan, even if he is ultimately a traitor to the Orange. Even still, I believe this club can push for a top spot in a matter of two to three weeks from now. They have the tools and skills, and proved last season they could score in droves. It's true, though, the don't really appear to have a defense in any stretch of the word. Here's the DCU song of the week:
2) Sporting KC -- This team thrives on pace and full throttle footy. I love watching them play because it's always exciting, and a great product for the national spotlight. Guys like Dominic Dwyer have a huge future in the league, and I honestly hope to see him succeed, even if it is with the Sporks. The song:
1) Houston Dynamo -- This is our team, so I needn't say much, except, I am deathly scared of how hard it was to get a goal in the run of play -- even when the net was practically widely available to score in. The Dancing Bear will break out this year at some point, but he has to let this game go and focus on nailing them into the net, not the keeper's hands. In spite of that, I still wanted to address JeVaughn Watson. He wasn't horrible. Thus I have two songs (1st is for the team, 2nd is from me to Watson):
JeVaughn, your moment of fame:
Hope you enjoyed the Power Rankings with a Fusion Twist!
P.S. Feel free to throw out your own video shout-outs to a team or player. It's kinda fun to do.