Non-Orange Things: MLS started... Two weeks ago!

USA TODAY Sports

MLS kicked off March 2 and after two weeks of play the teams have given us plenty to look at or in my case laugh at. Yeah I'm a slack but now you get two weeks worth of fun.

While we normally keep up with the stuff happening on the orange field, here's a look around the league in the "other" colors. Enjoy a feast of non-orange things.

Chicago Fire

Or as I like to refer to them as the Chicago ash pile. What the hell happened to this team? They made few off season changes but look like they have never played together before at all. Dilly Duka is one of many players who seems to have forgotten that he is on a team but still new to the team he gets a tiny bic sized pass. However once you consider that they are missing both Logan Pause and Arne Friedrich it begins to make a little more sense. This team has no leadership, once that get's sorted out maybe they pull a Phoenix and rise up or maybe they just hang out and roast marshmallows over the fire.

Arne Friedrich has gone back to Germany to get treatment for his hamstring injury leaving him out for at least a few more weeks. While he may not be the quickest guy on the field he has clearly become a backbone of the Fire's defense.

Chivas USA

THEY WON A GAME! So they got blown out 3-0 in week one versus Columbus but no one was there to see it so it's not like it really counted right? But in week two they came back with a bang and won 3-1 over F.C. Dallas.

"The players won today, not me." Head Coach Chelis post-game after the Dallas win. So then is it all on them when the team loses?

Chelis has also stated in recent weeks that he doesn't see him self living in California long term. In fact he plans to return to Mexico in a few years. So not much of a long term commitment I guess.

Jonathan Bornstein has said that he would be interested in returning to the United States to play for Chivas USA. The team recently acquired his rights and he hasn't found much playing time in Mexico.

"In a barrel of feces, you're grinding and grinding, you finally poke your head up to get the fresh air."-Chelis, forever quote worthy. I could do posts just quoting him.

Colorado Rapids

Well they are pretty much still the Rapids. This past week their home opener was delayed due to snow. Which once again leads me to question why none of the MLS teams have a snow blower.

Columbus Crew

So far the Crew are 1-1 on the season. They were missing Eddie Gavan last week against the Whitecaps and the team still isn't sure if he will return this weekend against San Jose.

D.C. United

Another team that is setting 1-1 losing in the opener to the Dynamo they won against Real Salt Lake in their home opener.

They will have Wayne De Rosario back after serving a two game suspension for his pre-season take out of Danny Cruz or as the graphics department on T.V. like to call him Freddy Cruz.

Also at the DCU game a Marine proposed to his girlfriend which was really pretty awesome.

FC Dallas

Got beat by Chivas. Nuff said

LA Galaxy

So far they have only played one game this season and pretty much blew out the Fire.

The Wandering Donovan is set to return to the team the last week in March. He has been seen wandering around Cambodia shoe-less playing soccer.

Montreal Impact

Somehow the Frenchies are still atop the Eastern Conference and by somehow I mean they have won both of their games. They played Portland and Seattle which are two of the toughest places to place on the road. Impressive so far but will they be able to keep it up as the season wears on? I'm not too sure.

New England Revolution

The Revs beat the Fire to go up three points in the standings but frankly at this point who hasn't beaten the Fire?

New York Red Bulls

Team has only managed a first week tie to the Portland Timbers and a second week loss to San Jose. Not exactly the booming start they were hoping to have.

Mike Petke's comments towards Caleb Porter's post-game comments were just awesome "...I'll concede that maybe the score should have been 1-1, but there's no way comments like that belong. No way in the NCAA and no way in Akron. If you want to do motivating, do it behind closed doors, don't do it in the press. They were reeling and backtracking because of what they didn't deliver to their home crowd. I'm not happy about those comments."

Philadelphia Union

The rivalry game against the Revs is being billed as Irish Night...really?

Portland Timbers

Came back from several goals down to tie NYRB in their first week out but feel to the Impact but despite less than favorable results the Timbers Army may finally be getting something to cheer about as the team seems far more alive than it ever did as it flat lined its way through 2012.

Real Salt Lake

They have started off the season with one win and one tie. And well blah.

San Jose Earthquakes

The team had three points going into week three after a win over NYRB but a week one loss to RSL.

The Earthquakes new start Adam Jahn is nicknamed 'Pillow Feet' dude I know you aren't supposed to change your nickname and all but geez. Who hated you so much they came up with that?

Seattle Sounders

The Sounders have only played one MLS game so far this season and lost to the Impact. They are another team that doesn't quite seem to have the gel of years past.

Sporting Kansas City

Sporting started of their season by beating up on the Union but then lost to Toronto yeah I don't know what the hell is going on either.

Toronto FC

They beat Sporting KC and I don't know what to do with that. Like really?

Torsten Fringe announced that he would be retiring. It was discovered that his hip injury, which he suffered last year, is still going to take a long time to recover so he has decided after eighteen years playing soccer to retire.

Vancouver Whitecaps

Jay DeMerit tears. That is all I have. It took him all of six minutes into the first game of the season before he ruptured his Achilles tendon. He is in the final year of his contract but has decided that he won't retire and will come back from this injury.

Despite losing DeMerit the Whitecaps sit atop with Western Conference with two wins and six points.

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