Seven Stages of Grieving a Loss to Dallas

If Kinnear isn't happy then no one should be happy. - Anne-Marie Sorvin-USA TODAY Spor

It's okay you aren't alone in your grief. After losing to FC Dallas all Houston Dynamo fans feel the pain and burning, and are going through the stages of grief with you. We are here to help.

The Seven Stages of Grieving a Loss to Dallas:

  1. Shock and Denial- "This didn't just happen." "They...this....oh my god." "Noooooooooooooooooooooo" "HOW IN GODS NAME IS THAT A STRAIGHT RED CARD?!?!" "HOW DO YOU STILL HAVE A JOB???"
  2. Pain and Guilt- "It burns, it burrrrrrrrns!" "If only I had cheered louder." "Why didn't I spike Diaz's Gatorade?" "I miss El Capitan. I miss it a lot. I want my cannon back. Are they taking good care of it?"
  3. Anger and Bargaining- "Dear Lord if you make this not real I'll be good. I'll go to church. I'll stop kicking puppies and stealing candy from small children." "?!@@#!@?#>@?!@" "Please let Salazar not be real."
  4. Depression, Reflection and Loneliness- "Honey, where's my Jack Daniels?" "I'm just going to sit here and eat this entire bag of pork rinds. That'll make me feel better." "I'm just going to lie here in the fetal position until it doesn't hurt anymore."
  5. The Upward Turn- "It'll be okay...I think." "We have plenty of games to win this season. We can do it."
  6. Reconstruction and Work Through- "We can't fight the referees too." "Salazar is awful. We knew that call would come." "Things weren't totally tragic before the red card. Yeah it was totally the red card's fault."
  7. Acceptance and Hope- "It could be worse, we could be Dallas fans." "I wonder if we will host MLS Cup or travel this year."
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