:format(webp)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/photo_images/1356837/GYI0062174415.jpg)
Wayne came from Manchester, U of K
Flew his way across the USA
Brought his wallet, not his wife
Full of cash, he was ready to go
He says, Hey Oregon
Take a walk on the wild side
Hey ladies
Take a walk on the wild side
Prostitutes of Beaverton, Oregon. Ready yourselves...He's on his way.
#5 - 3 DPs, No Cup: No it's not a dirty web video, it's the New York Red Bulls! Look, don't feel too bad NY since the last two "eighth" seeded teams have made the finals, you were pretty much doomed from the word go. That said, there is an argument to be made that this is karmic justice for signing Rafa Marquez. (Thanks to @nobius for the 3DPs, No Cup idea).
#4 - The Hamlet of Edenbridge: Well done to the citizens of this small English town for burning a 50-foot effigy of Wayne Rooney...and the Shrek ears? Brilliant that is.
#3 - Phil Neville, Internet Supertar: After Gareth Bale's masterful performance against Maicon in the Champions League this week, Evertonians took to Twitter to remind the world that our captain Phil kept Bale his his pocket a couple weeks back and in doing so, set of 24 hours of cyberspace bedlam. The story of Neville becoming a worldwide trending topic was picked up by papers and blogs across the globe and the team even posted a story about it. Word is, Phil did find out about the hi-jinks and we can only imagine the joy it brought to him. Well done Evertonians!
#2 - MLS: No I'm not bashing the league, I'm applauding the New York v San Jose match. Say what you will about MLS, it's not perfect, it has issues, but under the right circumstances, it can still produce a match that is just plain enjoyable to watch. A solid atmosphere at Red Bull Arena, some handbags, 4 goals and an upset, it really can't get much better than that. It's also a testament that while I still don't like playoffs, they can create some intriguing events. Hopefully the remaining three matches over the weekend will reach for the bar set by last night's match.
#1 - The Bionic Wayne: "Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic man. Wayne Rooney will be that man; better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster." You see, Shrek is coming to the US to rehab at Nike HQ where apparently they are going to save him...or something like that. That's right prostitutes of Beaverton, Oregon and surrounding communities...Wayne is coming! (No pun intended).