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Deepest apologies to all for the tardiness of this post. I've recently started a new job and it's causing havoc with my schedule. But never fear friends, I've got your round-up of this past weekend's action and boy was it a goal fest!
Join me after the jump as we see what happened in the Eurozone (and England!)
England: Ahhh! It's the mark of the beast! The magic number was six, with Chelsea, Newcastle, and Arsenal all thumping rather lame opposition by the identical scoreline of 6-0. The first to be put to the sword was Blackpool, who walked out of the tunnel, onto the pitch at the Emirates, promptly conceded within 15 minutes, and were down a man by 30 minutes. Theo Walcott scored a hat-trick and new boy Marouane Chamakh opened his tab in North London. Chelsea were next, battering an absolutely awful Wigan on the road. Seriously, Wigan should just relegate themselves now. Roberto Martinez must be wishing he were back in South Africa with the rest of the ESPN crew. The beatings continued on Sunday with the return of Premier League action to St. Jame's. Villa really should hire a real manager soon. Arsenal 6 - Blackpool 0 | Wigan 0 - Chelsea 6 | Newcastle 6 - Aston Villa 0
Elsewhere in the league, Spurs rallied from a Jekyll and Hyde performance on the plastic pitch of Switzerland to secure a hard-fought victory at Britannia Stadium. Special thanks to Gareth Bale's wonderstrike and some shoddy officiating from Mr. Foy. West Ham played decently against Bolton, but still lost at home. This is not a good omen for the rest of their season. Liverpool and Man Citeh continued their rough starts to the season by squaring off at Eastlands. This went poorly for Liverpool to say the least. Stoke 1 - Tottenham 2 | West Ham 1 - Bolton 3 | Manchester City 3 - Liverpool 0
The Rest: Birmingham 2 - Blackburn 1 | Everton 1 - Wolves 1 | West Brom 1 - Sunderland 0 | Fulham 2 - Manchester United 2 (cracking game!)
Spain / Italy: We're still a week away from games in the Mediterranean. This doesn't prevent The Special One from running his mouth. Which he did recently. And Rafa is already whinging in Milan! The more things change....
France / Germany / Holland: Meanwhile in Vichy France, Tolouse continued their winning ways and remain atop the table after beating newly promoted Arles. They're followed by the movie-loving side of Caen. Lyon and Marseille returned to winning ways, but remain five and six points off the pace in the infancy of this season.
The German league joined in the fun by kicking off their season, and let me just state here and now I am pulling for St. Pauli. If you need to ask why, I don't imagine our paths will ever cross at a bar. Things are obviously cluttered after only one round of games, but TSG Hoffenheim crown the table after battering Werder Bremen by a score of 4-1. Bayern Munich began their campaign with a victory over 2008/9 league winners VfL Wolfsburg.
Just northwest of the Maginot Line, PSV Eindhoven held their spot atop the table by beating 2008/9 league winners AZ Alkmaar. Ajax remain hot on their heels after a comprehensive 3-0 victory over Roda JC Kerkrade. The potent strike force of Suarez and El Hamdaoui combined for all of the Amsterdam club's goals.
Weekday Action: Nothing to preview since it's already happened. Unless you care about the Europa League, which I no longer do.
Some English side from a small town called London advanced to the group stages of the Champions League. Tottenham Hotspur, I believe they're called. Great to see a group of plucky underdogs making noise on Europe's biggest stage!