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Popples For The Road

The Dynamo's inability to notch road wins appears to be making an appearance in 2014. Something must be done.

Brad wants a Popple.
Brad wants a Popple.
Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

What is it about playing on the road that always seems to bring out the worst in the Houston Dynamo? Last night's 2-1 lost to the Vancouver Whitecaps was hardly the worst road loss the Dynamo have ever had but it was the first of the season. After kicking off the season 2-0 fans were hoping that the first road game of the season would send them to 3-0 for the first time in club history but it didn't. It had much the opposite effect, at least on fans.

Feelings of hopelessness began to set in as fans felt the old and unfortunately familiar feeling of a road loss. Which was quickly followed by questions of 'Is this going to be just like last season?' and 'Why can't we win on the road?'

I've thought long and I've thought hard about this and the best answer I can come up with is Popples.

If you don' t know what a popple is then you weren't born in the latter part of the 80's or early 90's or had children around that time. Popples are brightly colored stuffed animals that can be folded up into pouches on their backs. They had nine different popples- three large, three medium and three small. All had names starting with a 'P' and there was a short lived cartoon series featuring the lovable little guys.

None the Dynamo players are brightly colored though the jerseys are. None of the players fold up into pouches on their backs. There are more than nine Dynamo players and they come in more than three sizes. Not a single Dynamo player has a name that starts with a 'P' and while they do show up on 'The Pulp' they don't have a regular TV show.

I know what you are asking yourself 'Do Popples win on the road?' Honestly, I don't know but since they have absolutely nothing in common with the Dynamo I'm going to say yes. Which leads logically to the next question- how do we turn the Dynamo into Popples?

But I will counter with this I don't think we need to go that far I think we just need to get them Popples to travel with. That way they each of someone to travel with. Someone to use as a pillow. Someone to tell all their fears with. Someone who could have kept Warren company in the bathroom when he got locked in the bathroom during the 2013 pre-season. Someone that should sit on the sidelines and cheer them on during the game.

So that is my suggestion before the next road game- get the players Popples to travel with to make them a better road team.