Is your team not quite performing as well as they should? Has the defense been compared to Swiss cheese? Is the midfield AWOL? Your forwards can't hit the back of the net?
Well, we have the answer for you - the Houston Dynamo! Not only will they make your team look like world beaters, they will give your team at least one point! How do they do these remarkable feats? A simple blend of ineptness, lack of commitment, and good old fashioned laziness!
Your defense leaking goals? The Dynamo forwards will make it look like an actual brick wall!
Your midfield being over-run? The Dynamo will make them look like a combination of Real Madrid and Barcelona!
Your forwards not scoring? The Dynamo defense will collapse to make scoring easy! (Only 3 goals per person per game allowed.)
And in case the Dynamo do take a lead, they will pull back to just beyond their 18 yard box to give your team the time and space to create the tying goal in the last seconds - sending your fans into a tizzy of joy and excitement!
Here are some reactions from fans of teams that took advantage of this amazing offer!
"It was great to see our forwards score and to finally win a game!" - Red Bulls fan
"At first I thought the Dynamo were reneging on the deal but letting that tying goal in at the last second was inspiring! Thank you Dynamo!" - Sounders fan
To take advantage of this generous offer, just check the MLS schedule to see when your team play the Dynamo*.
* Some terms and conditions apply. Not valid for Dallas.